Whatever jokes

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dog and elephant
 
 
What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A very nervous postman.
last things you wanna hear from a cop
 
 
10) This doesn't look anything like you...

9) I'm sorry, but our records says this car was stolen.

8) I'm going to have to search your car.

7) I'm going to need backup.

6) What's in that plastic bag?!

5) What's that I smell in that cigar?!

4) The last time I checked, those guns weren't legal

3) What was that you threw out of the window?

2) Please step out of the car

1)You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent...
monks made a mistake
 
 
One day, two monks were in the vaults of the monastery going through the old scrolls.

"You see, there are the originals," said the first monk. "All the new scrolls were copied from these."

"Can I see one?"

"Sure. This is one outlines the rules for monkdom--" All of a sudden, the monk's face turns white and he falls to his knees.

"What? What does it say?"

"Celebrate. IT SAYS CELEBRATE!"

pillar of the community
 
 
What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?
A caterpillar!

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