Whatever jokes

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confucious
 
 
Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth.
ghost arrest
 
 
Q:Why was the ghost arrested?

A:Because it had no haunting license!!'

the hippie and the spice rack
 
 
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.

'So what was he doing then?' asks the physician. 'Acid? Cannabis?'

'Sort of,' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. 'But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.'

'And what was in that?' asks the doctor.

'Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.' says the hippie. 'There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.'

'Well, that explains it,' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. 'He is in a Korma.'

dog and elephant
 
 
What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A very nervous postman.

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