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top ten reasons for being english
 
 
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup
2. Proper beer
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules for cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
5. Union Jack Underpants
6. You can live in the past and imagine that you're still a world power
7. You can bathe once a week whether you need to or not
8. You can change your underwear once a week whether you need to or not
9. Beats being Scottish
10. Beats being Welsh
knock knock... katmandu
 
 
Knock knock
Who's there?
Katmandu
Katmandu who?
Katmandu what Catwoman wants!
birds fly upside down over iowa
 
 
Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa?

Because it ain't worth a crap.

red ball express
 
 
All drivers for Red Ball Express had orders to never ever pick up hitchhikers. Ol' Freddy was high-ballin' down the highway and saw an unbelievably stunning blonde hitch-hiking. Thinking with the wrong head, he pulled over and picked her up. Travelling down the highway, she leaned forward and looked in the rearview mirror.

"You have a flat back there on the trailer," she said. Freddy pulled over, went back to have a look. While he was back there, the blonde slid over and drove off. Freddy was now pissed off. Soon, a motorcycle gang pulled up, beat the crap out of him and left Freddy naked and broke. Another Red Ball Express driver saw Fred and recognized him.

"Fred, you okay?" he asked. Fred told him the entire story.

"Oh, Fred," said the driver, unzipping his pants. "This just isn't your day."


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