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mandarin
 
 
What is better than eating a mandarin?

Eating a mandarout.
two men hunting
 
 
Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of a sudden, one man had a heart attack. The other called 911. Someone answered, and he said, "You've gotta come help me. The guy I was hunting with had a heart attack."

The person said, "Well, you've gotta make sure that he is dead."

So the hunter said, "Okay." Then he left the phone, there was a long pause, then a gun shot.
The hunter got back on the phone and said "Okay, now what?"

blonde bet
 
 
A blonde and a brunette are in a bar. As they order their drinks, they watch the 6 o' clock news. On the broadcast is a man about to jump from a building. Hours pass as they find themselves sitting in the same seats at the bar watching the 10 o' clock news. The brunette says to the blonde, "I bet you $20 that the man jumps." Thinking for a moment, the blonde takes the bet. Sure enough the man jumps. As the blonde reaches into her purse to pay the bet, she says, "My God, I just saw that same man on the 6 o'clock news, I didn't think he would jump again."
e-mail error
 
 
It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.


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