Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take a couple of aspirins and the executive approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you please jack off? I have a terrible headache."
From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout.
The Judge thunders back, "If you don't tell me the reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a goddamned tool when I needed to borrow one!"
"One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat."
"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"
"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat."
"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"
"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London."
"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"
"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican."
"Really? What happened?"
"Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch."
"Cool. What happened then?"
"George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."
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