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They either run, cling, or don't fit in the crotch!
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"Do you have Jingle Bells on the old 12 inch?" she asks.
"No, but I've got dangling balls and a 7-inch," says the smartass behind the counter. The lady thinks for a second.
"Is that a record?"
"I think so. I'm only 14."
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When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can't find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn't make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I'm in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn't!"
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