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throwing stuff down a mineshaft
 
 
Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.

"Wow," said the first guy. "I wonder how deep it is?"

"I dunno," said the second.

"Let's find out." With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn't hear it hit bottom.

"Hmm. Let's try a bigger rock," said the first guy, and tossed a watermelon-sized stone down the hole. They waited a couple of minutes, but didn't hear it hit either. So, they looked around for something bigger to throw down and came across an old railroad tie, which they lifted together and dumped down the hole. Then suddenly, as they waited to hear it hit, a goat streaked between the two of them and jumped straight down the mineshaft.

While they stood there scratching their heads in amazement, a third guy came up the path and asked them if they'd seen a goat.

"Yeah, just now," said one of the first two guys. "It just ran up and jumped down this hole."

"Oh, well then it couldn't have been my goat," said the third guy. "My goat was tied to an old railroad tie."

work blows
 
 
What's the difference between a wife and a job?

After ten years the job still sucks!

the legend of the trids
 
 
There once was this group of strange beings called Trids. The Trids were only about a foot long, and the lived in a valley next to a hill. Every day they would climb the hill to gather berries and other plant foods.

At the top of the hill lived an Ogre that always kicked the Trids down the hill.

Finally, the leader of the Trids called a local Rabbi to come help them get food and to talk to the ogre. The Rabbi stood behind a tree on the hill and watched the Trids climb up the hill.

All was fine, until the Ogre popped out of a cave and one-by-one kicked the screaming Trids down the hill.

The Rabbi scaled the hill and asked the hideous creature why he kept kicking the Trids.

The Ogre looked over at the Rabbi and simply replied, 'Silly Rabbi, Kicks are for Trids.' '
amish woman driver
 
 
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma'am,” said the cop, “I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home,” responded the Amish lady.

“That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!” instructed the cop.

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked Jacob.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” wondered Jacob.

“I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake,” said the lady.

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