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"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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'I'm at the end of my tether doctor, is there anything you can suggest I do?'
So the doctor examines him and after some prodding and tutting finally suggests that he should spend six months in hospital, with his jaws wired shut.
'Well, OK doctor, it sounds drastic, but I guess that's what I need.'
Anyway, six months go by and the dude comes out of hospital, thin as a rake. He goes round to the doctor's to thank him.
'There's only one problem doctor, you see I was so fat beforehand, that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?'
'Hmm, short of pretty comprehensive plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Take your clothes off a moment.'
So the dude strips down. Then, squeezing it all upwards, the doctor ties it in a ball above his head.
'That's all well and good, doc', the dude said, 'but my navel is now in the middle of my forehead.'
The doctor replies, 'Yes, but you should see what you have got for a collar and tie!'
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