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painful bar joke
 
 
A guy walks into a bar, and sustains a mild concussion.
your dad's like cement
 
 
You dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!
new popemobile
 
 
The Pope walked into a car dealership one day to buy a car. A young salesman came out just as soon as the Pope walked onto the lot.

'Hello, can I help you?'

'Yes, I'm looking for a car to drive to the Vatican.'

'We have a wide selection, as you can see. As soon as you find one you like, come get me.'

So the Pope looked around and found a really nice sports car. The Pope didn't have his checkbook, so he said he would come back the next day to buy the car.

The next day he came back and the car had pieces cut out all over the place. 'What did you do to my car?!' the Pope yelled.

'I was just trying to make it holy for you.'

nasa, full of bright people
 
 
Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide how to spend $10 billion.
"I think we should put our men on Mars!" said the first man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on Venus!" said the second man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on the Sun!"
"How are you going to do that?"
"Easy. We go at night."

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