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ferry boy
Every morning a man drives to the dock, and every morning the man takes the ferry to work. One morning, he wakes up, and has no electricity. He has no idea what time it is, but assumes he's late since he has a tendency to sleep late anyway. So he slams down some breakfast, hauls ass to the dock, sees the ferry ten feet from the dock, and takes a running leap. He barely makes it, skidding across the deck of the boat, and hurting himself quite badly.
"You know," said the captain, "in another minute we would have docked."
dog days
What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver!
clean, clean, clean
What do you call a clean idiot?

Soap on a dope!

military service
Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?

For the Marine to hold on to!

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