Whatever jokes

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Whatever


last things you wanna hear from a cop
 
 
10) This doesn't look anything like you...

9) I'm sorry, but our records says this car was stolen.

8) I'm going to have to search your car.

7) I'm going to need backup.

6) What's in that plastic bag?!

5) What's that I smell in that cigar?!

4) The last time I checked, those guns weren't legal

3) What was that you threw out of the window?

2) Please step out of the car

1)You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent...
after school snack
 
 
Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a peace of cake.

no returns
 
 
I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

 
 
Three women die and get to heaven, and St. Peter greets them at the door and says, "Once you get into heaven, you mustn't step on any ducks." The women find this request very strange, but they agree, and enter heaven.

Once they get in, it's wall to wall ducks. A day goes by and the first women steps on the duck. St. Peter comes back with this old, smelly, fat, ugly man and chains them togther saying, "For stepping on a duck, you have to spend forever chained to this man."

Another day goes by and the second women steps on a duck, and St Peter comes back with another old, smelly, fat, ugly, man and chains them togther and says, "For stepping on a duck you have to spend forever chained to this man"

The third women sees this happening and doesn't want this to happen to her. So a month goes by and she hasn't stepped on a single duck. St. Peter comes back and chains her together witjh this really handsome man and walks away. The third women says, "How come I have the pleasure of being chained to you?"

The handsome man replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."


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