Whatever jokes

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one-armed man
Q: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

A: wave at him.
40' long and stinky
What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?

Line dancing at the nursing home.

2 canadian guys
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.

"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

how to annoy people in an elevator
1. When the elevator doors close, exclaim loudly 'Don't be alarmed folks, the doors will open again shortly'.

2. Press all of the buttons in the elevator when you get out - especially when other people are still in it.

3. Introduce your imaginary friend. And have a conversation with them.

4. Stand at the front of the elevator, facing the back. [If you are the first person in the elevator to do this, others will probably follow your lead]
5. Exclaim to all in the lift 'Oh, no! It's started raining!' then open your umbrella.

6. Ask everyone what their e-mail addresses are then tell them there's too many dot's in them.

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