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knock knock... matthew
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Matthew who?
Matthews are wet, can I come in and dry them?
marines vs. navy
How can you tell a marine from a sailor on an aircraft carrier?

The marines are the ones throwing bread to the helicopters.
how to be obnoxious in jr. high...
1) In the middle of class, run to the middle of the room screaming, 'I'm on fire!' Roll around vigorously.
2) Get up to sharpen your pencil as much as possible.
3) Ask your teacher how good their spouse was last night.
4) Talk in a strong English accent.
5) Walk into class halfway through, saying, 'Aren't you glad I decided to come today?'
6) In the middle of a lesson, jump up holding a Game Boy above your head and scream, 'I win!'
7) Pick your nose, show it to your friends and say loudly, 'Mmm, never seen that shape before.'
8) 'But I have to go reeeaaallly bad!'
9) During a multiple-choice test, read the answers out loud as you go along.
10) Repeat everything the teacher says in the form of a question ('Sheesh, so America won the Revolutionary War?').
11) At lunch, insist on being served caviar.
12) Hide in your locker and refuse to come out.
13) 'I was never told there was going to be a test.'
14) Bring your pet goldfish.
15) Throw chalk at the chalkboard and insist on counting how many pieces it breaks into.
16) Laugh hysterically whenever anybody says anything.
17) Splash water on the armpit area of your shirt and walk around with your hands behind your head.
18) During a private conversation with a teacher, suddenly shout, 'No I will not have sex with you!'
19) Point and laugh at all the fat kids.
20) Strike up a conversation with your pen.
guess what i am?
Can you guess what I am?

I am about six inches long. I have a bush at one end, and when rubbed hard I produce a white frothy substance. I move back and forth and in and out.

Answer: I'm a toothbrush

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