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Whatever


gay church
 
 
How do you know you're in a gay church?

Only half of the congregation is kneeling!
peg-leg baldy
 
 
A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again."

So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head."

Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple."

think about it
 
 
What is the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has a soul full of hope, and the girl in the bathtub...

bottle opener
 
 
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened by the time she brings it to you!

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