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- Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
- You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You can't remember your second cup.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
- You don't sweat - you percolate.
- You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
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'Oh, my God! A talking muffin!'
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To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”
About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well that's a good start,” says the professor, “Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.
“That's really good,” continues the professor, “I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
15 students raise their hands.
“That's a great response,” remarks the impressed professor, “has
anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
Three students raise their hands.
“That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” asks the professor.
One student in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished.
He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, “Son, all the years I've been giving
this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor asks, “Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost.”
The student replies, “Ghost?!?” Dang, I thought you said ‘goats.’
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