fly, soup, the usual
In a restaurant, a disgusted customer says: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?
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The waiter, after taking a close look says: It looks to me like the breaststroke, Sir.
jewish mother
A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks for his birthday and, wishing to please her, he went upstairs to put a pair on. When he returned, his mother immediately said, 'You don't like the other pair?'
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tarzan's kipling-esque treatise
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
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Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!
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