Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 60

Whatever


the halloween costume
 
 
There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg who was in need of a kickin' Halloween costume. So he wrote to a costume company, who promptly sent him a bandana and a hook so he could be a pirate.

Outraged that they were making fun of his pegleg, he fired off a complaint letter. In order to please him, the costume company sent him a monk's costume saying that it would be perfect for his bald head.

Now outraged that they were making fun of his bald head, the man sent another angry letter. Soon after, another package arrived in the mail -- a package of caramel. Attached was a note:

"Stick the pegleg up your ass, dip your head in caramel, and go as a caramel apple."

abc
 
 
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.

"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."

"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?

"It's running down my leg."

got to hurt
 
 
Did you hear in the news last night, that a guy living in Florida got his finger run over by a car and died instantly?

Of course, he had his finger up his nose.
prayer for the winning
 
 
What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it!

Page 61 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»