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widows98
 
 
"Do you ever get horny?" said one widow to the other.
"Sure."
"What do you do about it?"
"I suck on a lifesaver."
"Oh. That works?"
"Yep."
"What beach do you go to?"
confucious say...people who can count
 
 
Confucious say, 'There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.'
beans & onions: delicious
 
 
What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

Tear gas!

one day, a mechanic was working late...
 
 
One day, a mechanic was working late under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid, and that he was drinking a cup with lunch.

His friend was a little concerned but didn't say anything. The next day, he decided to drink a pint. The day after that, he was up to a full bottle's worth. His friend was now really worried. 'You know, that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better stop drinking that stuff!"

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time!"


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