OFFICE ENGLISH DICTIONARY - Whatever jokes

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OFFICE ENGLISH DICTIONARY

Blamestorming: Sitting around   in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was   responsible.

 

Chainsaw Consultant: An   outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with   clean hands.

 

Cube Farm: An office filled   with cubicles.

 

Prairie Dogging: When someone   yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls   to see what's going on.

 

Ego Surfing: Scanning the   Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.

 

Idea Hamsters: People who   always seem to have their idea generators running.

 

Keyboard Plaque: The   disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

 

Mouse Potato: The online,   wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

 

Ohnosecond: That minuscule   fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.

 

Perot: To quit unexpectedly,   as in "My cellular phone just perot'ed."

 

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn   into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.   Stands for Single Income,Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

 

Squirt the Bird: To transmit   a signal to a satellite.

 

Starter Marriage: A   short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

 

Stress Puppy: A person who   seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

 

Swiped Out: An ATM or credit   card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive   use.

 

Tourists: People who take   training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious   students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

 

Treeware: Hacker slang for   documentation or other printed material.

 

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for   swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.