Whatever jokes

Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"

The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered, "I wear this collar because I am a Father".

The old man thought a second and responded, "Sir I am also a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"

The priest thought for a minute and said, "Sir, I am the father for many."

The old man quickly answered, "I too am the father of many. I have four sons, four daughters and too many grandchildren to count. But I wear my collar like everyone else does.

"Why do you wear it your way?"

The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted out, "Sir, I am the father for hundreds and hundreds of people."

The old man from the far-away country was taken aback and was silent for a long time.

As he got up to leave the subway train, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards."

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

3. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

5. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

6. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and foolish.

8. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

9. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

17. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

20. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

22. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

23. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.