Whatever jokes

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bucket of what?
 
 
What's the difference between a bucket of crap and a mother-in-law?

The bucket!

disarming the guard
 
 
Lem: 'I got fired from my job as a bank guard.'

Clem: 'That's awful. What happened?'

Lem: 'Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it.'

Clem: 'What did thief do then?'

Lem: 'He took one more step so I let him have it. I didn't want that stupid gun anyhow!'

men with no arms or legs
 
 
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.

On the wall? Art.

On the floor? Matt.

stumpy the dog
 
 
Where do you find a no legged dog?

Right where you left him.

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