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coming to america
 
 
One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea.
"Driver? Can I drive for a while?"
"Sure," says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington -- dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car.
"We got somebody really important here," he says to his partner.
"Who is it? Is it a senator?"
"No. More important."
"The president?"
"No. More important."
"An ambassador? Who?"
"I don't know. But the Pope is his driver."
cheese
 
 
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho Cheese!!!
moth inspector
 
 
A man walks in his room after work and is suprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. 'Who the hell are you?' he yells. The naked guy replies 'I'm the moth inspector' 'Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?' He looks down and exclaims 'Oh my God! I'm too late!'
for unemployed loser schmucks
 
 
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all of his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.”
“Oh, great,” the man said, “what is it?”
“It's called the door!”

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