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"You were going eighty!" the officer yelled. "Why so fast?"
"We have a good reason," Lloyd explained to the cop. "Our brakes are no good so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"
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Nevada State Tourism Board
"Nothing Says I LOVE YOU Like Legalized Prostitution and Gambling" T-shirts, baseball caps, and coffee mugs.
Ku Klux Klan
* Valentine's Day Heart Burning, co-sponsored by Alka Seltzer
Vatican Public Relations Office
* "Naughty Altar Boy" limited edition ceramic figurine
American Heart Association
* Chocolate heart with marshallow-filled arteries. Simultaneously a touching token of love and a serious warning to an overweight sweetheart.
Daughters of the American Revolution
* Illustrated Kama Sutra featuring George and Martha Washington. Comes with authentic period wooden dental dam.
PETA
* Spray Paint a Red Heart on Joan Rivers' Coat Competition
National Society of Organ Donors
* "My Heart Belongs to You (As Soon As I'm Brain Dead)" cards.
Department of Homeland Security
* Moving the Valentine's Day National Warning System Code Red for a "High
Risk of Lovin'"
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Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
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The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass - Happy Butt... what's the difference?"
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