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aggie nativity
 
 
How come Texas A&M couldn't put on a nativity scene?

Because they couldnt find three wise men or a virgin!
jesus and his father
 
 
One time in heaven Saint Peter said to Jesus, “I'm going on vacation and I want you to watch the pearly gates. Everybody who comes up, you ask the questions and you decide if will stay here in heaven.”
“Okay, Saint Peter, I will,” said Jesus.
Jesus was receiving everybody when, he spied a blind and very old man coming toward him. Jesus said to him, “tell me about your life.”
And the old man said, “I remember nothing about my life. The only thing I remember is that my son was very famous on the earth and I was a carpenter.”
Jesus thought, “A son very famous and he was a carpenter, he must be Joseph.” Jesus with his eyes full of tears said, “Father?”
The old man, touching the face of Jesus said, “Is that you Pinocchio?”
in the marines
 
 
It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia. The whole regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around inspecting people. There are rows of marines stacked behind one another waiting to be inspected. The colonel gets to the first squad leader, stands in front of him and punches him in the stomach the hardest he can. After about a minute, the squad leader catches his breath. The colonel bellows, “DID THAT HURT SOLDIER?” Then the soldier says “NO, SIR.” The colonel shouts, “WHY NOT?” Then the soldier says, “BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!”
The colonel gets up to the second squad leader, stands in front of him, and kicks him in the kneecap. After about a minute when the soldier is finally standing, the colonel hollers, “DID THAT HURT?” The soldier responds, “NO, SIR.” And the colonel says “WHY NOT?” Then the soldier shouts, “BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!”
The colonel gets up to the third squad leader. He notices that there is an erection between his legs. The colonel takes a stick from the floor, and whacks the erection with it. The man barely makes a sound. The colonel asks him “DID THAT HURT?” And the soldier says “NO, SIR.” Then the colonel shouts, “WHY NOT?” Then the soldier points at the man standing behind him and says, “BECASUE IT WAS HIS.”
hostage situation
 
 
If a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

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