Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 187

Whatever


punk 'n' parrot
 
 
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.

"What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"

"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"

masochism tango
 
 
What did the sadist do to the masochist?
Nothing!
bill gates in hell
 
 
Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.

St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".

So, Bill takes a look at hell and see's these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.

Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that.

So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.

About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons.

He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?”

Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver.”

top ten things that sound dirty at xmas
 
 
  1. Did you get any under the tree?
  2. I think your balls are hanging too low.
  3. Check out Rudolph's honker!
  4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
  5. Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff.
  6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
  7. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
  8. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
  9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
  10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Page 188 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»