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a blonde comes home and finds her mom dead ...
 
 
A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead on the floor.

But she goes to work, and starts crying and her boss asks, "What's wrong?"

She says, "Well, my mom died."

He told her to go home but she said, "No, I'll be fine."

About an hour later her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"

And she says, "Well, I just talked to my sister, and her mom died too!"

a man went on vacation to texas...
 
 
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brough a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Every thing is bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas every thing is bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"
black sheep
 
 
A tribal leader finds that his wife has had a white baby. Enraged, he brings the baby to the missionary at the tribe and says, "You are the only white man to inhabit our land. Explain to me how my baby is white." Terrified, missionary responds, "Now, now..please do not make any hasty assumptions. Look at those white sheep over there? Among them there is one black one. There is no explanation as to how it got that color and is just a miracle of nature." The tribe leader pauses for a second, then says, "I apologize, sir. I understand you well and clear. I'll keep quiet about the baby if you keep quiet about the sheep."
it's awful scary in these woods, mister!
 
 
"It's awful scary in these woods, mister!"

"You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"


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