Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 276

Whatever


disarming the guard
 
 
Lem: 'I got fired from my job as a bank guard.'

Clem: 'That's awful. What happened?'

Lem: 'Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it.'

Clem: 'What did thief do then?'

Lem: 'He took one more step so I let him have it. I didn't want that stupid gun anyhow!'

shoplifting
 
 
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.

Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"

The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."

70's cookie band?
 
 
What do you call a 70's cookie band?
OREO Speedwagon!
two morons
 
 
Once there were these two morons sitting on a rock.
One moron fell off.
Why didn't the other one fall off?
He was a little more on!

Page 277 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»