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a man went on vacation to texas...
 
 
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brough a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Every thing is bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas every thing is bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"
what's blue and fluffy?
 
 
Q: What's blue and fluffy?

A: Blue fluff.

blonde trapped on an isand
 
 
A blonde is trapped on an island. She learns how to swim and decides to go swim to shore. When she was only 1/4 away from shore, she swam back, complaining that she was too tired.
shriveled lovin'
 
 
There was an old couple sitting at a table. The old man said to the old lady, "I remember 50 years ago we were sitting at this very table."

The old woman said, "Yes, and we were probably naked as jay birds."

The old man said, "Well, what do you say..wanna get naked?" So they both stripped.

The old woman said, "You know hunny, my breasts are just as hot for you as they were 50 years ago." a

The old man replied, "I can imagine, one is in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."


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