MOMMY ALMOST DIED - Whatever jokes

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MOMMY ALMOST DIED
One day this little girl's dad came home and she  runs up to him.

"Daddy, the cat died today!"

"Well, darling," said the dad. "That's just something that happens." 

"But why are his arms and legs up in  the air?" 

"Well, darling, that's just something they do." She takes the death fairly well and doesn't mention it until a few days later.  When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.

"Daddy,  Daddy,  Mommy almost died today!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I came downstairs and I heard  her screaming 'Oh Jesus,  take me, take me!' And she had her ams and legs up in the air and if it hadn't been for the mailman tring to revive her she would have died."