DUI - Barroom jokes

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DUI
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road.  A cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"   

"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few." 

"I did alright," the drunk says with a smile. 

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" 

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."