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doctor doctor jokes


doctor doctor 08
 
 
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet
Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen
Well sit down and write your name!

Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog
What's wrong with that
I think I'm going to croak

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.
Necks please!

Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?
Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!
Well tell her to come in
I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!

doctor doctor 06
 
 
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog
Your just playing too much croquet!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!

Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed!

doctor doctor 10
 
 
Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar
Don't worry you'll soon change!

Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.
That's quite enough out of you!

Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!

Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish
Poor sole!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider
What a web of lies!

Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar!
Have you taken anything for it?

Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy!

doctor doctor 13
 
 
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm
How boring for you!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bridge
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel
That's shocking!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python
You can't get round me just like that you know!


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