EVALUATING PROGRESS - Funny guides jokes

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EVALUATING PROGRESS
A keen analyst:  Thoroughly confused.

Accepts new job assignments willingly:  Never finishes a job.

Active socially:  Drinks heavily.

Alert to company developments:  An office gossip.

Approaches difficult problems with logic:  Finds someone else to do the job.

Average:  Not too bright.

Bridge builder:  Likes to compromise.

Character above reproach:  Still one step ahead of the law.

Charismatic:  No interest in any opinion but his own.

Competent:  Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

Conscientious and careful:  Scared.

Consults with co-workers often:  Indecisive, confused, and clueless.

Consults with supervisor often:  Very annoying.

Delegates responsibility effectively:  Passes the buck well.

Demonstrates qualities of leadership:  Has a loud voice.

Displays excellent intuitive judgement:  Knows when to disappear.

Displays great dexterity and agility:  Dodges and evades superiors well.

Enjoys job:  Needs more to do.

Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations:  Ignores everyone.

Excels in the effective application of skills:  Makes a good cup of coffee.

Exceptionally well qualified:  Has committed no major blunders to date.

Expresses self well:  Can string two sentences together.

Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike:  A coward.

Happy:  Paid too much.

Hard worker:  Usually does it the hard way.

Identifies major management problems:  Complains a lot.

Indifferent to instruction:  Knows more than superiors.

Internationally know:  Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.

Is well informed:  Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.

Inspires the cooperation of others:  Gets everyone else to do the work.

Is unusually loyal:  Wanted by no-one else.

Judgement is usually sound:  Lucky.

Keen sense of humor:  Knows lots of dirty .

Keeps informed on business issues:  Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.

Listens well:  Has no ideas of his own.

Maintains a high degree of participation:  Comes to work on time.

Maintains professional attitude:  A snob.

Meticulous in attention to detail:  A nitpicker.

Mover and shaker:  Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.

Not a desk person:  Did not go to college.

Of great value to the organization:  Turns in work on time.

Use all available resources:  Takes office supplies home for personal use.

Quick thinking:  Offers plausible excuses for errors.

Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment:  Lazy and hard-headed.

Should go far:  Please.

Slightly below average:  Stupid.

Spends extra hours on the job:  Miserable home life.

Stern disciplinarian:  A real jerk.

Straightforward:  Blunt and insensitive.

Strong adherence to principles:  Stubborn.

Tactful in dealing with superiors:  Knows when to keep mouth shut.

Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress:  Buys drinks for superiors.

Takes pride in work:  Conceited.

Unlimited potential:  Will stick with us until retirement.

Uses resources well:  Delegates everything.

Uses time effectively:  Clock watcher.

Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.

Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.

Well organized:  Does too much busywork.

Will go far:  Relative of management.

Willing to take calculated risks:  Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.

Zealous attitude:  Opinionated.