ROBERT SCHMIDT 03 - Funny one liners jokes

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ROBERT SCHMIDT 03
I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I wear my liver on my pant leg.

I still have my Christmas Tree.  I looked at it today.  Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests.

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle.  A little old lady had to help me across the street.

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

Smoking cures weight problems...  Eventually...

I had fried octopus last night.  You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor.

I took a course in speed waiting.  Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.