ROBERT SCHMIDT 06 - Funny one liners jokes

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ROBERT SCHMIDT 06
I Xeroxed a mirror.  Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

I took a course in speed reading.  Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for.  You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together.  For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough.

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.

I went to San Francisco.  I found someone's heart.

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers.  He hates New York.

A beautiful woman moved in next door.  So I went over and returned a cup of sugar.  "You didn't borrow this."  "I will."

I had my coathangers spayed.

I washed a sock.  Then I put it in the dryer.  When I took it out, it was gone.