NERD SAYINGS GALORE - Technology jokes

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NERD SAYINGS GALORE
1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.   
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any  Key.   
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.   
4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. 
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate  mistakes. 
  6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think  they are.
  7. My software never has bugs. It just develops  random features. 
8. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL   
9. C:\DOS  C:\DOS\RUN  RUN\DOS\RUN   
10. <--- The information went data way ---> 
  11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100%  compression. 
  12. The Definition of an Upgrade:  Take old bugs  out, put new ones in. 
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not  Responding. 
14. The name is Baud,  James Baud.   
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5  yards to go! 
  16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!   
17. C:\> Bad command or file name!  Go stand in  the corner! 
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!  Staaay..   
19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or  filename!'   
20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology  amusing. 
21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 
  22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups. 
23. E Pluribus Modem 
24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the  Etherbunny.   
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral  available. 
27. An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error  correcting.   
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington  D.C. (Y/N)? 
29. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 
  30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's  power cord. 
  31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy  neighbor's Pentium.
  32.  24 hours in a day...24 beers in a  case...coincidence? 
33. Disinformation is not as good as  datinformation. 
  34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 
35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .   
36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my  disk?
  37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. 
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure. 
39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy?    Shell to DOS... 
40. All computers wait at the same speed.   
41. Computer: A device designed to speed and  automate errors.   
42. Go ahead, make my data! 
  43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... 
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...   
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!   
46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient  voltage.
  47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! 
48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
    49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to  continue.   
50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill  Gates, 1981 
  51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to  CONFIG.SYS 
52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF  to your  CONFIG.SYS
  53. Press any key to continue or any other key to  quit...   
54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!!  Not THAT  one! 
55. Press -- to continue...