MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT - Whatever jokes

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MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
* If the enemy is in range, so are you

Incoming fire has the right of way 

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire

There is always a way

That way is always mined

Try to look uminportant; they might be low on ammo 

What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank

Teamwork is essential; it gives them someone else to shoot at 

If orders can be misunderstood they will be 

The tank is a monument to the inaccuracy of indirect fire

Odd objects attract fire. You are odd

Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud 

Mine fields are not neutral 

If they're shooting at you, it's a high intensity conflict 

The weight of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it 

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack

If your attack is going well, it's an ambush 

Never draw fire, it irritates those around you 

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy 

Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder 

Friendly fire isn't

Never stand when you can sit 

Never sit when you can lie down

Never stay awake when you can sleep 

A grenade with a 7 second fuse will always burn in 4 seconds 

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake 

  Whenever you are low on ammo, you can never hit anything

The more a weapon costs, the further you will have to send it to be repaired 

Interchangeable parts are not 

The item you need is always in short supply

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of it's operator

No combat ready group ever passes inspection

No inspection ready group ever survives combat

Peace is our profession, mass murder is just a hobby 

All battles are fought at the junction of two or more maps

Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together

If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both 

Tracers work both ways

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire 

The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it 

Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms