HERE ARE REAL OPCODES - Computer jokes jokes

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HERE ARE REAL OPCODES
AAC       Alter All Commands
AAD       Alter All Data
AAO       Add And Overflow
AAR       Alter At Random
AB       Add Backwards
ABC       AlphaBetize Code
ABR       Add Beyond Range
ACC       Advance CPU Clock
ACDC       Allow Controller to Delete Contents
ACDP       Allow Controller to Die Peacefully
ACQT       Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB       Another Dumb Bug
AEE       Absolve Engineering Errors
AFF       Add Fudge Factor
AFHB       Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP       Abnormalize Floating Point
AFR       Abort Funny Routine
AFVC       Add Finagle's Variable Constant
AGB       Add GarBage
AGWA       Add and Get Wrong Answer
AI       Add Improper
AIB       Attack Innocent Bystander
AIB       Attack Innocent Bystanders
AISG       Access and Improve Student Grade
AMM       Add Mayo and Mustard
AMM       Answer My Mail
AMS       Add Memory to System
ANC       ANnoy Consultant
AOI       Annoy Operator Immediate
AR       Advance Rudely
AR       Alter Reality
ARN       Add and Reset to Non-zero
ARN       Add and Reset to Nonzero
ARZ       Add and Reset to Zero
AS       Add Sideways
ASQGSA       ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI
AT       Accumulate Trivia
AWP       Argue With Programmer
AWTT       Assemble With Tinker Toys
BA       Branch Anywhere
BAC       Branch to Alpha Centauri
BAD       Branch And Die
BAD       Branch to Auto Destruct
BAF       Blow All Fuses
BAH       Branch And Hang
BALC       Branch And Link Cheeseburger
BAP       Branch And Punt
BAW       Bells And Whistles
BB       Branch on Bug
BBBB       Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
BBBF       Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BBD       Branch on Bastille Day
BBI       Branch on Burned-out Indicator
BBIL       Branch on Burned-out Indicator Light
BBLB       Branch on Blinking Light Bulb
BBT       Branch on Binary Tree
BBW       Branch Both Ways
BCB       Burp and Clear Bytes
BCF       Branch on Chip box Full
BCIL       Branch Creating Infinite Loop
BCR       Backspace Card Reader
BCS       Branch and Crash System
BCU       Be Cruel and Unusual
BD       Backspace Disk
BD       Branch to Data
BDC       Break Down and Cry
BDI       Branch to Data Indirect
BDM       Branch and Disconnect Memory
BDT       Burn Data Tree
BDU       Branch on Dense User
BE       Branch Everywhere
BEW       Branch Either Way
BF       Belch Fire
BF       Blow Fuse
BF       Branch Forever
BFD       Branch on Full Disk
BFF       Branch and Form Feed
BFM       Be Fruitful and Multiply
BH       Branch and Hang
BIR       Branch Inside Ranch
BIRM       Branch on Index Register Missing
BLC       Branch and Loop Continuous
BLI       Branch and Loop Infinite
BLM       Branch, Like, Maybe
BLMWM       Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
BLP       Boot from Line Printer
BLR       Branch and Lose Return
BLSH       Buy Low, Sell High
BLT       Break Little Thing
BM       Branch Maybe
BMI       Blow up Memory Immediate
BMI       Branch on Missing Index
BMI       Branch to Muncee Immediate
BMP       Branch and Make Popcorn
BMR       Branch Multiple Registers
BMUS       Beam Me Up, Scotty
BNA       Branch to Nonexistant Address
BNCB       Branch and Never Come Back
BNL       Become a Neo-Luddite
BNR       Branch for No Reason
BOB       Branch On Bug
BOD       Beat On Disk
BOD       Branch on Operator Desperate
BOH       Branch On Humidity
BOH       Branch on Operator High
BOHP       Bribe Operator for Higher Priority
BOI       Byte Operator Immediately
BOP       Boot OPerator
BOT       Branch On Tree
BPB       Branch on Program Bug
BPDI       Be Polite, Don't Interrupt
BPIM       Bury Programmer In Manuals
BPL       Branch PLease
BPM       Become a Psych Major
BPO       Branch on Power Off
BPO       Branch on Power On
BPP       Branch and Pull the Plug
BR       Byte and Run
BRA       Branch to Random Address
BRB       BRanch on Beaver
BRH       BRanch and Hang
BRI       BRanch Indefinitely
BRL       BRanch and Leak
BRO       BRanch and Overheat
BRO       BRanch to Oblivion
BS       Behave Strangely
BSC       Branch on Second Coming
BSC       Burst Selector Channel
BSD       BackSpace Disk
BSI       Back up Sewer Immediate
BSI       Backup Sewer Immediately
BSM       Branch and Scramble Memory
BSO       Branch on Sleepy Operator
BSP       BackSpace Punch
BSR       Branch and Stomp Registers
BSS       Branch on SunSpot
BSST       BackSpace and Stretch Tape
BTD       Branch on Time of Day
BTD       Byte The Dust
BTI       Blow Trumpet Immediately
BTJ       Branch and Turn Japanese
BTO       Branch To Oblivion
BTW       Branch on Third Wednesday
BU       Branch Unexpectedly
BUTI       Blow Up Terminal Immediately
BVS       Branch and Veer South
BW       Branch on Whim
BWC       Branch When Convenient
BWF       Busy, Wait Forever
BWOP       BeWilder OPerator
BYDS       Beware Your Dark Side
BYTE       BYte TEst
CAC       Calling All Cars
CAC       Cash And Carry
CAF       Convert ASCII to Farsii
CAI       Corrupt Accounting Information
CAIL       Crash After I Leave
CAR       Cancel Accounts Receivable
CAT       Confused And Tired
CB       Consult Bozo
CBA       Compare and Branch Anyway
CBBR       Crash and Blow Boot Read-only memory
CBNC       Close, But No Cigar
CBS       Clobber BootStrap
CC       Call Calvery
CC       Compliment Core
CCB       Chocolate Chip Byte-mode
CCB       Consult Crystal Ball
CCC       Crash if Carry Clear
CCCP       Conditionally Corrupt Current Process
CCD       Choke Cough and Die
CCD       Clear Core and Dump
CCR       Change Channels at Random
CCS       Chinese Character Set
CCWR       Change Color of Write Ring
CD       Complement Disk
CDC       Clear Disk and Crash
CDC       Close Disk Cover
CDIOOAZ       Calm Down, It's Only Ones And Zeroes
CDS       Change Disk Speed
CEMU       Close Eyes and Monkey with User space
CEX       Call EXterminator
CF       Come From [replaces goto]
CFE       Call Field Engineer
CFP       Change and Forget Password
CFS       Corrupt File Structure
CG       Convert to Garbage
CH       Create Havoc
CHCJ       Compare Haig to Christine Jorgensen
CHPAMR       CHase Pointers Around Machine Room
CHSE       Compare Half-words and Swap if Equal
CIB       Change Important Byte
CIC       Cash In Chips
CID       Compare and Ignore Data
CIMM       Create Imaginary Memory Map
CIZ       Clear If Zero
CLBR       CLoBber Register
CLBRI       CLoBber Register Immediate
CM       Circulate Memory
CMD       CPU Melt Down
CMD       Compare Meaningless Data
CMI       Clobber Monitor Immediate
CML       Compute Meaning of Life
CMP       Create Memory Prosthesis
CMS       Click MicroSwitch
CN       Compare Nonsensically
CNB       Cause Nervous Breakdown
CNS       Call Nonexistent Subroutine
COCS       Copy Object Code to Source
COD       Crash On Demand
COLB       Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
COM       Clear Operator's Mind
COMF       COMe From
CON       Call Operator Now
COS       Copy Object code to Source file
COWYHU       Come Out With Your Hands Up
CP       Compliment Programmer
CP%FKM       CPU \(em FlaKeout Mode
CP%WM       CPU \(em Weird Mode
CPB       Create Program Bug
CPN       Call Programmer Names
CPPR       Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRASH       Continue Running After Stop or Halt
CRB       CRash and Burn
CRD       Confirm Rumor by Denial
CRM       CReate Memory
CRM       Clear Random Memory
CRN       Compare with Random Number
CRN       Convert to Roman Numerals
CRYPT       reCuRsive encrYPt Tape
CS       Crash System
CSL       Curse and Swear Loudly
CSN       Call Supervisor Names
CSNIO       Crash System on Next I/O
CSS       Crash Subsidiary Systems
CSU       Call Self Unconditional
CTDMR       Change Tape Density, Mid Record
CTT       Call Time and Temperature
CU       Convert to Unary
CUC       Cheat Until Caught
CVFL       ConVert Floating to Logical
CVFP       ConVert Fortran to Pascal
CVG       ConVert to Garbage
CVU       ConVert to Unary
CWAH       Create Woman And Hold
CWB       Carry With Borrow
CWDC       Cut Wires and Drop Core
CWG       Chase Wild Goose
CWGK       Compare Watt to Genghis Khan
CWIT       Compare Watt to Ivan the Terrible
CWM       Compare Watt to Mussolini
CWOM       Complement Write-Only Memory
CZZC       Convert Zone to Zip Code
DA       Develop Amnesia
DAB       Delete All Bugs
DAC       Divide And Conquer
DAD       Destroy A-Disk
DAO       Divide And Overflow
DAP       De-select Active Peripheral
DAUF       Delete All Useless Files
DB       Drop Bits
DBL       Desegregate Bus Lines
DBR       DeBase Register
DBTP       Drop Back Ten and Punt
DBZ       Divide By Zero
DC       Degauss Core
DC       Divide and Conquer
DCAD       Dump Core And Die
DCD       Drop Cards Double
DCGC       Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
DCI       Disk Crash Immediate
DCON       Disable CONsle
DCR       Double-precision CRash
DCT       Drop Cards Triple
DD       Destroy Disk
DD       Drop Disk
DDC       Dally During Calculations
DDOA       Drop Dead On Answer
DDS       Delaminate Disk Surface
DDT       Debug Program
DDWB       Deposit Directly in Waste Basket
DEB       Disk Eject Both
DEC       Decompile Executable Code
DEI       Disk Eject Immediate
DEM       Disk Eject Memory
DFA       Disable FAns
DGO       Decrement the Grades of Others
DGT       Dispense Gin and Tonic
DHTPL       Disk Head Three Point Landing
DIA       Develop Ineffective Address
DICE       Delete Invalid Customer Engineer
DIE       DIsable Everything
DIF       DIsable Fuses
DIG       DIsable Gravity
DIH       Disable Interrupts and Hang
DIRFO       Do It Right For Once
DISC       DISmount CPU
DK       Destroy Klingons
DKP       Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
DLN       Don't Look Now
DLP       Drain Literal Pool
DMAG       Do MAGic
DMNS       Do what i Mean, Not what i Say
DMP       Destroy Memory Protect key
DMPE       Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.
DMPK       Destroy Memory Protect Key
DMZ       Divide Memory by Zero
DND       Destroy Neighbor's Data
DNPG       Do Not Pass Go
DO       Divide and Overflow
DO       Divide and Overflow [IBM PC]
DOC       Drive Operator Crazy
DOV       Divide and OVerflow
DP       Destroy Peripherals
DPC       Decrement Program Counter
DPCS       Decrement Program Counter Secretly
DPK       Destroy storage Protect Key
DPMI       Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
DPN       Double Precision No-op
DPR       Destroy PRogram
DPS       Disable Power Supply
DR       Detach Root
DRAF       DRAw Flowchart
DRAM       Decrement RAM
DRBA       Deposit Round-off in my Bank Account
DRD       DRop Dead
DRI       Disable Random Interrupt
DROM       Destroy ROM
DRT       Disconnect Random Terminal
DS       Deadlock System
DSD       Dismount System Disk
DSI       Do Something Interesting
DSO       Disable System Operator
DSP       Degrade System Performance
DSR       Detonate Status Register
DSTD       Do Something Totally Different
DSUIT       Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
DT%FFP       DecTape \(em unload and Flappa FlaP
DT%SHO       DecTape \(em Spin Hubs Opposite
DTB       Destructively Test Bit
DTC       Destroy This Command
DTE       Decrement Telephone Extension
DTI       Do The Impossible
DTRT       Do The Right Thing
DTVFL       Destroy Third Variable From Left
DU       Dump User
DUD       Do Until Dead
DW       Destroy World
DWIM       Do What I Mean
DWIT       Do What I'm Thinking
DWIW       Do What I Want
EA       Enable Anything
EAC       Emulate Acoustic Coupler
EAL       Enable AC to Logic rack
EAO       Enable AC to Operator
EBB       Edit and Blank Buffer
EBB       Empty Bit Bucket
EBR       Erase Before Reading
EBRS       Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
EC       Eat Card
ECF       Explode and Catch Fire
ECL       Early Care Lace
ECO       Electrocute Computer Operator
ECP       Erase Card Punch
ED       Eject Disk
ED       Execute Data
EDD       Eat Disk and Die
EDIT       Erase Data and Increment Time
EDP       Emulate Debugged Program
EDR       Emit Deadly Radiation
EDR       Execute Destructive Read
EDS       Execute Data Segment
EEOIFNO       Execute Every Other Instruction From Now On
EEP       Erase Entire Program
EFB       Emulate Five-volt Battery
EFD       Eject Floppy Disk
EFD       Emulate Frisbee using Disk pack
EFE       Emulate Fatal Error
EHC       Emulate Headless Chicken
EIA       Elvis Is Alive
EIAO       Execute In Any Order
EIO       Erase I/O page
EIO       Execute Invalid Op-code
EIO       Execute Invalid Opcode
EIOC       Execute Invalid Op-Code
EJD       EJect Disk
EJD%V       EJect Disk \(em with initial velocity V
ELP       Enter Loop Permenantly
EM       EMulate 407
EM       Evacuate Memory
EMIF       Erase Most Important File
EMM       Emulate More Memory
EMPC       EMulate Pocket Calculator
EMSE       Edit and Mark Something Else
EMSL       Entire Memory Shift Left
EMT       Electrocute Maintenance Technician
EMW       Emulate Maytag Washer
ENA       ENable Anything
ENE       ENable Everything
END       Erase Neighbor's Data
ENF       Emit Noxious Fumes
ENG       ENable Gravity
ENO       Emulate No-Op
EO       Electrocute Operator
EOB       Execute Operator and Branch
EOI       Explode On Interrupt
EOS       Erase Operating System
EP       Execute Programmer
EPD       Explode Peripheral Device
EPI       Execute Programmer Immediate
EPITS       Execute Previous Instruction Then Skip
EPL       Emulate Phone Line
EPP       Eject Printer Paper
EPS       Electrostatic Print and Smear
EPS       Execute Program Sideways
EPSW       Execute Program Status Word
EPT       Erase Process Table
EPT       Erase Punched Tape
ERIC       Eject Random Integrated Circuit
ERM       Erase Reserved Memory
EROM       Erase Read-Only Memory
EROS       Erase Read-Only Storage
EROS       Erase Read-Only Storage [Everex int]
ERS       Erase Read-only Storage
ESB       Eject Selectric Ball
ESC       Emulate System Crash
ESD       Eject Spinning Dish
ESL       Exceed Speed of Light
ESP       Enable SPrinkler system
ETI       Execute This Instruction
ETM       Emulate Trinary Machine
ETPH       E. T. Phone Home
EVC       Execute Verbal Commands
EWD       Enter Warp Drive
EWM       Enter Whimsy Mode
EXB       EXcrement and Branch
EXE       EXecute Engineer
EXI       EXecute Invalid operation
EXO       EXecute Operator
EXOP       EXecute OPerator
EXP       EXecute Programmer
EXPP       EXecute Political Prisoner
FAY       Fetch Amulet of Yendor
FB       Find Bugs
FC       Fry Console
FCJ       Feed Card and Jam
FCJ       Feed Cards and Jam
FD       Forget Data
FDR       Feed Disk Randomly
FERA       Forms Eject and Run Away
FFF       Form Feed Forever
FLD       FLing Disk
FLI       Flash Lights Impressively
FM       Forget Memory
FMP       Finish My Program
FOPC       False Out-of-Paper Condition
FPC       Feed Paper Continuously
FPT       Fire Photon Torpedoes
FRG       Fill with Random Garbage
FRS       Fetch Ring of Sauron
FS       Feign Sleep
FSM       Fold, Spindle, and Mutilate
FSR       Form Skip and Runaway
FSRA       Forms Skip and Run Away
FYBR       Follow Yellow Brick Road
GAP       Grade All Projects
GBB       Go to Back of Bus
GCAR       Get Correct Answer Regardless
GCR       Generate Confusing Results
GDP       Grin Defiantly at Programmer
GDR       Grab Degree and Run
GENT       GENerate Thesis
GEW{JO}       Go to the End of the World {Jump Off}
GFD       Go Forth and Divide
GFM       Go Forth and Multiply
GIE       Generate Irreversible Error
GL       Get Lost
GLC       Generate Lewd Comment
GMC       Generate Machine Check
GMCC       Generate Machine Check and Cash
GND       Guess at Next Digit
GORS       GO Real Slow
GPCR       Generate Petty Cache Request
GR       Get Real
GREM       Generate Random Error Message
GREP       Global Ruin, Expiration, and Purgation
GRMC       Generate Rubber Machine Check
GS       Get Strange
GSB       Gulp and Store Bytes
GSI       Generate Spurious Interrupts
GSU       Geometric Shift Up
GTJ       Go To Jail
HAC       Hold All Calls
HACF       Halt And Catch Fire
HAH       Halt And Hang
HBW       Hang Bus and Wait
HCF       Halt and Catch Fire
HCP       Hide Central Processor
HCRS       Hang in CRitical Section
HDH       Hi Dee Ho
HDO       Halt and Disable Operator
HDRW       Halt and Display Random Word
HELP       Hinder Everyone with Little Productivity
HELP       Type 'No Help Available'
HEO       Halt and Execute Operator
HF       Hide File
HGD       Halt, Get Drunk
HHB       Halt and Hang Bus
HIS       Halt in Imposible State
HOO       Hide Operator's Output
HRPR       Hang up and Ruin Printer Ribbon
HSC       Halt on System Crash
HSJ       Halt, Skip and Jump
HTC       Halt and Toss Cookies
HTS       Halt and Throw Sparks
HUAL       Halt Until After Lunch
HUP       Hang Up Phone
HWP       Halt Without Provocation
IA       Illocical And
IAE       Ignore All Exceptions
IAI       Inquire And Ignore
IAND       Illogical AND
IAR       Ignore All Requests
IB       Insert Bug
IBM       Increment and Branch to Muncee
IBP       Insert Bug and Proceed
IBR       Insert Bugs at Random
ICB       Interrupt, Crash and Burn
ICM       Immerse Central Memory
ICMD       Initiate Core Melt Down
ICR       Incur Costly Repair [Sun Tempest]
ICSP       Invert Crt Screen Picture
IDC       Initiate Destruct Command
IDI       Invoke Divine Intervention
IDNOP       InDirect No-OP
IDPS       Ignore Disk Protect Switch
IEOF       Ignore End Of File
IF       Invoke Force
IGI       Increment Grade Immediate
IGIT       Increment Grade Immediate Twice
IGO       Increment Grade Overnight
IHC       Initiate Head Crash
IHTFP       Increment Hormones, Test For Puberty
II       Inquire and Ignore
IIB       Ignore Inquiry and Branch
IIC       Insert Invisible Characters
IIL       Irreversable Infinite Loop
IM       Imagine Memory
IMBP       Insert Mistake and Blame Programmer
IMP       Imitate Monty Python
IMPG       IMPress Girlfriend
IMV       IMpress Visitors
INCAM       INCrement Arbitrary Memory
ING       INquire and iGnore
INI       Ignore Next Instruction
INOP       Indirect No-OP
INR       INstigate Rumor
INW       INvalidate Warranty
IOI       Ignore Operator's Instruction
IOR       Illogical OR
IOS       Ignore Operating System
IP       Increment and Pray
IPI       Ignore Previous Instruction
IPM       Ignore Programmer's Mistakes
IPOP       Interrupt Processor, Order Pizza
IPS       Incinerate Power Supply
IPS       Increment Power Supply
IPT       Ignite Paper Tape
IRB       Invert Record and Branch
IRBI       Insert Random Bits Indexed
IRC       Insert Random Commands
IRE       Insert Random Errors
IRI       Ignore Rude Interrupts
IRPF       Infinite Recursive Page Fault
ISC       Ignore Supervisor Calls
ISC       Ignore System Crash
ISC       Insert Sarcastic Comments
ISI       Increment and Skip on Inifinity
ISP       Increment and Skip on Pi
ISTK       Invert STacK
ITML       Initiate Termites into Macro Library
IU       Ignore User[s]
IXOR       Illogical eXclusive OR
IZ       Ignore Zeroes
JAA       Jump Almost Always
JBS       Jump and Blow Stack
JCI       Jump to Current Instruction
JFM       Jump on Full Moon
JHRB       Jump to H&R Block
JLP       Jump and Lose Pointer
JLR       Jump and Lose Return
JMAT       JuMp on Alternate Thursdays
JN       Jump to Nowhere
JNL       Jump when programmer is Not Looking
JOB       Jump On Beaver
JOM       Jump Out of Memory
JOM       Jump Over Moon
JOP       Jump OPerator
JPA       Jump when Pizza Arrives
JRAN       Jump RANdom
JRCF       Jump Relative and Catch Fire
JRGA       Jump Relative and Get Arrested
JRL       Jump to Random Location
JRSR       Jump to Random SubRoutine
JSC       Jump on System Crash
JSOR       Jump Somewhere Over Rainbow
JSU       Jump Self Unconditional
JT       Jump if Tuesday
JTT       Jump and Tangle Tape
JTZ       Jump to Twilight Zone
JWN       Jump When Necessary
KCE       Kill Consultant on Error
KCE       Kill repairman [CE]
KDO       Knock Disk Over
KEPITU       Kill Every Process In The Universe
KOP       Kill OPerator
KP       Krunch Paper
KPR       Kill PRogrammer
KSR       Keyboard Shift Right
KUD       Kill User's Data
KWWE       Kill Wicked Witch of East
KWWW       Kill Wicked Witch of West
LAC       Lose All Communication
LAGW       Load And Go Wrong
LAP       Laugh At Program
LAP       Laugh At Programmer
LCC       Load and Clear Core
LCD       Launch Cartridge Disk
LCK       Lock Console Keyswitch
LEB       Link Edit Backwards
LIA       Load Ineffective Address
LMB       Lose Message and Branch
LMO       Load and Mug Operator
LMYB       Logical MaYBe
LN       Lose inode Number
LNP       Load N digits of Pi
LOSM       Log Off System Manager
LP%PAS       Line Printer \(em Print And Smear
LP%RDD       Line Printer \(em Reverse Drum Direction
LP%TCR       Line Printer \(em Tangle and Chew Ribbon
LPA       Lead Programmer Astray
LPRTC       Load Program counter from Real Time Clock
LR       Load Revolver
LRA       Load RetroActively
LRB       Lose Record and Branch
LRD       Load Random Data
LSPSW       Load and Scramble PSW
LTS       Link To Sputnik
LTS       Loop Till Smokes
LUM       LUbricate Memory
LWE       Load WhatEver
LWM       Load Write-only Memory
MAB       Melt Address Bus
MAN       Make Animal Noises
MAZ       Multiply Answer by Zero
MBC       Make Batch Confetti
MBF       Multiply and Be Fruitful
MBH       Memory Bank Hold-up
MBTD       Mount Beatles on Tape Drive
MBTOL       Move Bug To Operator's Lunch
MC       Move Continuous
MD       Move Devious
MDB       Move and Drop Bits
MDC       Make Disk Crash
MDDHAF       Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor
MFO       Mount Female Operator
MILI       Move It or Lose It
MLB       Memory Left shift and Branch
MLP       Make Lousy Program
MLP       Multiply and Lose Precision
MLR       Move and Lose Record
MMF       Melt Main Frame
MMLG       Make Me Look Good
MNI       Misread Next Instruction
MOG       Make Operator Growl
MOP       Modify Operator's Personality
MPLP       Make Pretty Light Pattern
MRZ       Make Random Zap
MSGD       Make Screen Go Dim
MSP       Mistake Sign for Parity
MSPI       Make Sure Plugged In
MSR       Melt Special Register
MST       Mount Scotch Tape
MTE       Mangle Tape on Exit
MTI       Make Tape Invalid
MUG       Make Ugly Graphics
MUM       Multi-Use Mnemonics
MW       Malfunction Whenever
MW       Multiply Work
MWC       Move and Wrap Core
MWT       Malfunction Without Telling
NBC       Negate By Clearing
NCW       Notch Carriage and Way
NMI       Negate Most Integers
NOP       Needlessly Omit Pointer
NPC       Normalize Program Counter
NPN       No Program Necessary [VAX]
NTGH       Not Tonight, i've Got a Headache
OBB       Overflow Bit Bucket
OCF       Open Circular File
OMC       Obscene Message to Console
OMC       Overheat Memory Chip
OML       Obey Murphy's Laws
OPI       Order Pizza Immediately
OPP       Order Pizza for Programmer
OSI       Overflow Stack Immediate
OSI       Overflow Stack Indefinite
OSP       Open Six-Pack
OTL       Out To Lunch
OU       Offend User
P$*!       Punch Obscenity
PA       Punch in ASCII
PAL       Pack And Leave
PAS       Print And Smear
PAUD       PAUse Dramatically
PAZ       Pack Alpha Zone
PAZ       Pack Alpha and drop Zones
PBC       Print and Break Chain
PBD       Print and Break Drum
PBL       Pack Bags and Leave
PBM       Pop Bubble Memory
PBPBPBP       Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag Please
PBST       Play Batch mode Star Trek
PCB       Pause for Coffee Break
PCD       PunCh Disk
PCI       Pleat Cards Immediate
PCR       Print and Cut Ribbon
PCS       Push to Centre of Stack
PD       Play Dead
PD       Punch Disk
PDLD       Power Down and Lock Door [to computer room]
PDSK       Punch DiSK
PEHC       Punch Extra Holes in Cards
PEP       Print on Edge of Paper
PFD       Punt on Fourth Down
PFE       Print Floating Eye
PFML       Print Four Million Lines
PG       Print Garbage
PHO       Pull Hair Out
PI       Punch Invalid
PIBM       Pretend to be an IBM
PIC       Print Illegible Characters
PIC       Print Invalid Character
PIC       Punch Invalid Character
PLSC       Perform Light Show on Console
PNIH       Place Needle In Haystack
PNRP       Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
PO       Punch Operator
POCL       Punch Out Console Lights
POG       Print Only Greek
POP       Pop Or Push
POPI       Punch OPerator Immediate
POPN       Punch OPerator's Nose
PPA       Print Paper Airplanes
PPC       Purge Pascal Compiler [HP 3000]
PPL       Perform Perpetual Loop
PPP       Print Programmer's Picture
PPR       Play Punk Rock
PPSW       Pack Program Status Word
PPSW       Pack Progran Status Word
PRS       PRint and Smear
PSP       Print and Shred Paper
PSR       Print and Shred Ribbon
PTP       Produce Toilet Paper
PUO       Perform Unknown Operation
PVLC       Punch Variable Length Card
PWP       Print Without Paper
PWS       create PoWer Surge
PYS       Program YourSelf
QBDH       Quit and Become a DeadHead
QWYA       Quit While Your Ahead
RA       Randomize Answer
RAM       Randomly Access Memory
RAM       Read Ambiguous Memory
RAN       RANdom opcode [similar to 16-bit what gate]
RASC       Read And Shred Card
RAST       Read And Shred Tape
RAU       Ridicule All Users
RBAO       Ring Bell and Annoy Operator
RBLY       Restore Back-up from Last Year
RBT       Read Blank Tape
RBT       Rewind and Break Tape
RC       Rewind Core
RCAJ       Read Card And Jam
RCB       Read Command Backwards
RCB       Run Clock Backwards
RCC       Read Card and Chew
RCCP       Randomly Corrupt Current Process
RCF       Rewind Cabinet Fans
RCKG       Read Count Key and Garbage
RCL       Rotate Carry Left
RCP       Reschedule Car Payments
RCR       Rewind Card Reader
RCRV       Randomly Convert to Reverse Video
RCS       Read Card and Scramble data
RCSD       Read Card and Scramble Data
RD       Randomize Data
RD       Reverse Directions
RDA       Refuse to Disclose Answer
RDB       Replace Database with Blanks
RDB       Run Disk Backwards
RDD       Reverse Disk Drive
RDDBF       Rock Disk Drive Back and Forth
RDEB       Read and Drop Even number of Bits
RDF       Randomize Directory Filenames
RDI       Reverse Drum Immediate
RDI       Reverse Drun Immediate
RDI       Rewind Disk Immediate
RDR       Reverse Disk Rotation
RDS       ReaD Sideways
RENVR       REName Variables Randomly
RET       Read and Erase Tape
RF       Read Fingerprints
RG       Record Garbage
RHNEZ       Randomize and Halt if Not Equal to Zero
RHO       Randomize and Hold all Output
RIC       Rotate Illogical thru Carry
RID       Read Invalid Data
RIG       Read Inter-record Gap
RIOP       Rotate I/O Ports
RIR       Read Invalid Record
RIRG       Read Inter-Record Gap
RJE       Return Jump and Explode
RLC       Relocate and Lose Core
RLC       Reread Last Card
RLC       Rotate Left with Carolyn
RLI       Rotate Left Indefinitely
RLP       Refill Light Pen
RLP       Rewind Line Printer
RM       Ruin My files
RMI       Randomize Memory Immediate
RMM       Read Manager's Mind
RMT       ReMove Trap
RMV       Remove Memory Virtues
RN       Read Noise
RNBS       Reflect Next Bus Signal
RNR       Read Noise Record
ROC       Randomize Op Codes
ROC       Rotate Outward from Center
ROD       ROtate Diagonally
ROM       Read Operator's Mind
ROO       Rub Out Operator
ROOP       Run Out Of Paper
ROPF       Read Other People's Files
ROS       Reject Operating System
ROS       Return On Shield
RP       Read Printer
RPB       Raise Parity Bits
RPB       Read Print and Blush
RPB       Reverse Parity and Branch
RPBR       Reverse Parity and BRanch
RPC       Rotate Program Counter
RPM       Read Programmer's Mind
RPU       Read character and Print Upsidedown
RRC       Rotate Random thru Carry
RRR       Randomly Rotate Register
RRR       Read Record and Run away
RRR       Read Record and Run-away
RRRL       Random Rotate Register Left
RRRR       Random Rotate Register Right
RRSTC       Return on Ruby Slippers Triple-Click
RRT       Record and Rip Tape
RS       Random Slew
RSD       on Read error Self-Destruct
RST       Rewind and Stretch Tape
RSTOM       Read from STore-Only Memory
RT       Reduce Throughput
RTP       Reduce ThroughPut
RTS       Return To Sender
RVAC       Return from VACation
RWC       ReWind and Crash heads
RWCR       ReWind Card Reader
RWD       ReWind Disk
RWE       Run Without Error
RWF       Read Wrong File
RWT       Read/Write while stretching Tape
SA       Store Anywhere
SAD       Search And Destroy
SAI       Skip All Instructions
SAK       Snooze At Keyboard
SAS       Show Appendix Scar
SAS       Sit And Spin
SBE       Swap Bits Erratically
SBF       Skip on Bitbucket Full
SC       Scramble Channels
SC       Shred Cards
SCB       Spindle Card and Belch
SCCA       Short Circuit on Correct Answer
SCD       Shuffle and Cut Dec
SCH       Slit Cards Horizontal
SCI       Shred Cards Immediate
SCM       Set for Crash Mode
SCOM       Set Cobol-Only Mode
SCP       SCatter Printer
SCRRC       SCRamble Register Contents
SCST       Switch Channel to Star Trek
SCTR       Stick Card To Reader
SD       Scramble Directory
SD       Slip Disk
SDC       Spool Disk to Console
SDD       Seek and Destroy Data
SDD       Spin Disk Dry
SDDB       Snap Disk Drive Belt
SDE       Solve Differential Equations
SDI       Self Destruct Immediate
SDM       Search and Destroy Memory
SDR       Slam Down Rondo [worst soda ever made]
SEB       Stop Eating and Burp
SEOB       Set Every Other Bit
SESUR       Sing Elvis Songs Until he Returns
SEX       Set EXecution register
SEX       Sign EXtend
SFH       Set Flags to Half-mast
SFP       Send For Pizza
SFR       Send For Reinforcements
SFT       Stall For Time
SFTT       Strip Form Tractor Teeth
SHAB       SHift A Bit
SHABM       SHift A Bit More
SHB       Stop and Hang Bus
SHCD       SHuffle Card Deck
SHON       Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent no-op]
SHR       SHift Random
SHRC       SHRed Card
SHRT       SHRed Tape
SID       Switch to Infinite Density
SIP       Store Indefinite Precision
SJV       Scramble Jump Vectors
SLP       Sharpen Light Pen
SMC       Scramble Memory Contents
SMD       Spontaneous Memory Dump
SMR       Skip on Meaningless Result
SMS       Shred Mylar Surface
SNARF       System Normalize And Reset Flags
SNM       Show No Mercy
SNO       Send Nukes on Overflow
SOAWP       SOlve All the World'd Problems
SOB       Stew On Brew
SOD       Surrender Or Die
SOL       Shift On Low
SOP       Stop and Order Pizza
SOS       Sign Off, Stupid
SOT       Sit On a Tack
SP       Scatter Print
SPA       Sliding Point Arithmetic
SPB       Simulate Peanut Butter
SPD       SPin Disk
SPS       Set Panel Switches
SPSW       Scramble Program Status Word
SQPWYC       Sit Quietly and Play With Your Crayons
SRBO       Set Random Bits to Ones
SRBZ       Set Random Bits to Zeroes
SRC       Select Random Channel
SRC       Select Reader and Chew cards
SRCC       Select Reader and Chew Cards
SRD       Switch to Random Density
SRDR       Shift Right Double Ridiculous
SRO       Sort with Random Ordering
SROS       Store in Read-Only Storage
SRR       Shift Registers Random
SRSD       Seek Record and Scar Disk
SRSD       Seek Record and Scratch Disk
SRTC       Stop Real-Time Clock
SRU       Signoff Random User
SRZ       Subtract and Reset to Zero
SSB       Scramble Status Byte
SSD       Scratch System Disk
SSD       Stacker Select Disk
SSD       Stop and Scratch Disk [3815]
SSJ       Select Stacker and Jam
SSJP       Select Stacker and JumP
SSM       Solve by Supernatural Means
SSM       Stacker Select Memory
SSP       Seek SPindle
SSP       Smoke and SPark
SST       Seek and Stretch Tape
SSW       Scramble Status Word
ST       Set and Test
STA       STore Anywhere
STC       Slow To a Crawl
STD       Stop, Take Drugs
STM       STretch Magtape
STM       Skip on Third Monday
STO       Strangle Tape Operator
STPR       SToP Rain
STRIKE       STRIKE for more pay, better hours, etc.
STROM       STore in Read-Only Memory
STTHB       Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud
SUIQ       Subtract User's IQ
SUME       SUprise ME
SUP       Shred User Printout
SUP       Solve Unsolvable Problem
SUS       Stop Until Spring
SUS       Subtract Until Senseless
SWAT       SWAp Terminals
SWN       SWap Nibbles
SWOS       Store in Write-Only Storage
SWS       Sort to Wrong Slots
SWT       Select Wrong Terminal
SWU       Select Wrong Unit
SWZN       Skip Whether Zero or Not
SZD       Switch to Zero Density
TAH       Take A Hike
TAI       Trap Absurd Inputs
TARC       Take Arithmetic Review Course
TBFTG       Two Burgers and Fries To Go
TC       Transmit Colors
TDB       Transfer and Drop Bits
TDRB       Test and Destroy Random Bits
TDS       Trash Data Segment
TET       Triple Execution Time [SUN]
TLNF       Teach me a Lesson i'll Never Forget
TLO       Turn indicator Lights Off
TLW       Transfer and Lose Way
TN       Take a Nap
TOAC       Turn Off Air Conditioner
TOG       Take Out Garbage
TOG       Time Out, Graduate
TOH       Take Operator Hostage
TOO       Turn On/off Operator
TOP       Trap OPerator
TOS       Trash Operating System
TOW       Take Over World
TPD       Terminal Printer Destruct
TPD       Total Program Diagnostic
TPD       Triple Pack Decimal
TPDH       Tell Programmer to Do it Himself
TPF       Turn Power oFf
TPN       Turn Power oN
TPO       Turn Power Off
TPR       Tear PapeR
TR       Turn into Rubbish
TRA       Te Rdls Arvs [type ridiculous abbreviations]
TRD       TRansfer and Drop bit
TSH       Trap Secretary and Halt
TSM       Trap Secretary and Mount
TST       Trash System Tracks
TT%CN       TeleType \(em Clunk Noise
TT%EKB       TeleType \(em Electrify KeyBoard
TTA       Try, Try Again
TTIHLIC       Try To Imagine How Little I Care
TTITT       Turn 2400 foot Tape Into Two 1200 foot Tapes
TTL       Tap Trunk Line
TTL       Time To Logoff
TYF       Trust Your Feelings
UA       Unload Accumulator
UAI       Use Alternate Instruction set
UAPA(AM)       Use All Power Available (And More)
UCB       Uncouple CPU and Branch
UCIP       Update Card In Place
UCK       Unlock Console Keyswitch
UCLB       Uncouple Comm Lines and Branch
UCM       Uncouple CoMm lines and branch
UCPUB       Uncouple CPUs and Branch
UDR       Update and Delete Record
UER       Update and Erase Record
UFO       Unidentified Flag Operation
ULDA       UnLoaD Accumulator
UMR       Unlock Machine Room
UNPD       UNPlug and Dump
UOP       Useless OPeration
UP       Understand Program[mer]
UPA       Use all Power Available
UPC       Understand Program[mer]'s Comments
UPI       Undo Previous Instruction
URB       Update, Resume and Branch
UTF       Unwind Tape onto Floor
UTF       Use The Force
UUBR       Use Undefined Base Register
VAX       Violate All eXecutions
VFE       Violate Field Engineer
VFO       Violate Female Operator
VMA       Violate Maintenance Agreement
VNO       Violate Noise Ordinance
VPA       Vanishing Point Arithmetic
VVM       Vaporize Virtual Memory
WAD       Walk Away in Disgust
WAT       WAste Time
WBB       Write to the Bit Bucket
WBT       Water Binary Tree
WC       Waste Core
WCR       Write to Card Reader
WDR       Warp disk DRive
WED       Write and Erase Data
WEMG       Write Eighteen Minute Gap
WF       Wait Forever
WGPB       Write Garbage in Process-control Block
WHFO       Wait until Hell Freezes Over
WHP       Wave Hands over Program
WI       Why Immediate
WI       Write Illegibly
WID       Write Invalid Data
WMC       Write Millions of Comments
WNAM       We Need A Miracle
WNHR       Write New Hit Record
WNR       Write Noise Record
WP       Write Poop
WPET       Write Past End of Tape
WPM       Write Programmer's Mind
WSE       Write Stack Everywhere
WSWW       Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
WUPO       Wad Up Printer Output
WWLR       Write Wrong Length Record
WWR       Write Wrong Record
XXIO       eXecute Invalid Opcode
XXKF       eXecute Kermit the Frog
XXM       eXclusive Maybe
XXMB       eXclusive MayBe
XXOH       eXecute no-Op and Hang
XXOR       eXecute OpeRator
XXOS       eXchange Operator's Sex
XXPR       eXecute PRogrammer
XXPSW       eXecute Program Status Word
XXSP       eXecute Systems Programmer
XXVF       eXchange Virtue for Fun
YAB       Yet Another Bug
YASE       Yet Another Stupid Error
ZAP       Zero and Add Packed
ZAR       Zero Any Register
ZD       Zap Directory
ZEOW       Zero Every Other Word
ZPI       ZaP Immediate