PEOPLE REALLY SAID THESE THINGS IN COURT - Lawyer jokes

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PEOPLE REALLY SAID THESE THINGS IN COURT
Q: What is your date of birth?
  A: July fifteenth.
  Q: What year? 
A: Every year. 

  Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? 
A: Yes.
  Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
A: I forget. 
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? 

  Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
  A: Oral. 

  Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
  A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
  Q: How long has he lived with you? 
A: Forty-five years. 

  Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? 
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" 
Q: And why did that upset you? 
A: My name is Susan. 

  Q: Sir, what is your IQ? 
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. 

  Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
  A: We both do. 
Q: Voodoo?
  A: We do. 
Q: You do? 
A: Yes, voodoo. 

  Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

  Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

  Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? 

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? 

Q: How many times have you committed suicide? 

  Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
  A: Yes.
  Q: And what were you doing at that time? 

  Q: She had three children, right? 
A: Yes. 
Q: How many were boys?
  A: None.
  Q: Were there any girls? 

  Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? 
A: Yes. 
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

  Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
  A: I went to Europe, sir.
  Q: And you took your new wife? 

  Q: How was your first marriage terminated? 
A: By death. 
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 

  Q: Can you describe the individual?
  A: He was about medium height and had a beard. 
Q: Was this a male, or a female? 

  Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 

  Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? 
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. 
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? 
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. 
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? 
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.