speak more precisely
Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. "My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier.
"I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.
"You could if you could lie as I do."
A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.
"Are you hurt?" asked another.
"I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "am still falling!"
 |
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
"I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.
"You could if you could lie as I do."
A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.
"Are you hurt?" asked another.
"I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "am still falling!"
impressing the others
A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan.
He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office.
Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander.
He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility.
Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?"
The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office.
Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander.
He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility.
Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?"
The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."
choose a punishment
Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence.
"You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer.
"All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
"You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer.
"All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."
reward these soldiers
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.
What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"
Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!"
General: "That's a strange but fair request, son!
As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky?"
Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.
What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"
Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!"
General: "That's a strange but fair request, son!
As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky?"
Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"
Page 15 of 17 «« Previous | Next »»