he is new to baseball
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
question answer 08
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can't jump!
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
They prefer cricket matches!
What stories are told by basketball players?
Tall stories!
Who won the race between two balls of string?
They we're tied!
Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Because they're always dribbling!
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music!
What tea do footballers drink?
Penaltea!
Where do footballers dance?
At a football!
All of them, a crossbar can't jump!
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
They prefer cricket matches!
What stories are told by basketball players?
Tall stories!
Who won the race between two balls of string?
They we're tied!
Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Because they're always dribbling!
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music!
What tea do footballers drink?
Penaltea!
Where do footballers dance?
At a football!
sports entrance exam
UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM SEC FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION (Time Limit: 3 Weeks) 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (please check only one answer) (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic 5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners 9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five. 11. Where does rain come from? (a) Macy's (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky 12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (a) yes (b) no 13. What are coat hangers used for? 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country? 15. Explain Le Chatelier's Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS. 16. Where is the basement in a three story building located? 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges? (a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Wisconsin 18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have? 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for? *You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify*
murphy's martial laws
Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts
Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:
The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:
The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
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