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you really do stink
 
 
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.

How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter."

The official just stared.

The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"

The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.

The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"

do at a bowling alley
 
 
Things to do at a Bowling Alley

Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.

When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.

Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.

Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.

Wear Golf Shoes.

Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.

Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.

Play bocci with extra lane balls

Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again

Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.

Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.

Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.

Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.

Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.

Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.

Root for the other team- Bring Banners.

Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.

Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"

Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments

Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE

Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.

Rent all the lanes, don't bowl

Rent all the shoes, eat them

Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating

When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.

If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics

Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone

Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.

SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town

Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night

Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling

Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night

Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.

Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.

Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.

Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.

Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.

Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.

question answer 01
 
 
Where do religious school children practice sports?
In the prayground!

How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!

Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game?
It was a cup draw!

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
The bored room!

A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?

"Were the crowd not behind you" asked the reporter

"They were right behind me all right", said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

question answer 04
 
 
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?
Sorry, it was a freak hic!

Why are football grounds odd?
Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence?
A flat back four!

Why did the goal post get angry?
Because the bar was rattled!

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
Fiver side!

What part of a football ground is never the same?
The changing rooms!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
Bring on their subs!

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