"Sure," says the farmer, "as long as you promise not to stick your winky into the three holes." The man promises, and the farmer leaves him there. Of course, he can't resist, and the farmer is woken up in the middle of the night by screams coming from the barn. The farmer goes down and finds the guy stuck in the third hole.
"What are in these holes?" the guy screams.
"Well," says the farmer, "one of them's my daughter, one's my cow, and one of them's an automatic milking machine that doesn't stop until it gets five gallons."
The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."
So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"
The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.
The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.
The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"
Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"
Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.
They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long.
"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver.
"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.
The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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