lawyer jokes jokes

Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Q: When lawyers die, why don't vultures them?
A: Even a vulture has taste.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10?
A: A lawyer.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.

Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night.

"How's business?" asked the first.

"Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it, there were already two other lawyer hanging on to the bumper."

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.

Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: “Justice prevailed.”

The senior partner replied in haste, “Appeal immediately.”