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political jokes

government cow types
If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.

If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.

If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.

If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.

If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn't believe it.

If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.

If a Platonist has two cows, he looks for two others to milk.

If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.

If a Pacifist has two cows, they stampede him.

If a government worker has two cows, he can't sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.

If a Hillary Clinton has two cows, she robs the ranches and gives everyone two cows. If she doesn't have enough, she gives them bull.

nicknames of clinton
Bill Clinton Nicknames

Dollar Bill
The Bill we'll be paying for years
Hillary Rodham
the Great Pretender
Willy the Weasel

Hillary Clinton nicknames

Wicked witch of the west wing
Hilla the Hun
Robbery Hillham

republicans democrats
The difference between Republicans & Democrats

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.

short laughs & quips
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.

There's one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money.

...Veni, Vedi, Clinti--I came, I saw, I lied.

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time'?"

He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise'."

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