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president precedent
Difference Between a Bad *President* and a Bad *Precedent*


Tipper: "How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?"

Al: "Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I'd do it all again."


Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear

- "I do solemonemoney swear..."

- that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States

- "... that I will fatally execute the official President of the United States..."

- and will to the best of my ability

- "... and will to the best of my abli-tilly ..."

- preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States

- "... preservect defenestrate the United ... the Constitual ... the ... um ... of America."

- So help me God.

- "So help me. So help my dog. Oh, God, is it over?"

meeting with voters
President Clinton is shaking hands with the voters after being elected for the second time.

"Pleased to meet you," says one old man, "I've heard a lot about you in the past few years."

Clinton laughs: "You can't prove any of it!"

early morning jogging
The Secret Service has been worried by Bill Clinton's practice of taking early morning jogs. They got a real scare the other day when somebody threw a beer at the president. Fortunately, it turned out to have been a draft, and Clinton was able to dodge it.

an unpopular action
President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States.

"Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you've ever done was to be inaugurated as President. It's just been downhill from there."

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