political jokes jokes

Recent confusion about the meaning of the abbreviation BTU has lead to the creation of set definitions that may be used when discussing its meaning.

1. Big Time Unemployment
2. Buy Thermal Underwear
3. Bill's Tax Utopia
4. Being Totally Unfair

A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says--"you are suppose to read his lips".

He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn't running - the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn't run, it runs, it doesn't run . . ."

He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax . . ."

I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists "only to kill people" and says so at every chance he gets.

Mike thinks the military is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and plans to make it his career. Needless to say, when they get together, sparks fly.

A recent interchange went something like this:

Rick: "'Military intelligence' is a contradiction in terms."

Mike: "No more than 'civilian worker'."

Top George Bush Slogans

1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!
   
   
2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.
   
   
3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.
   
   
4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?
   
   
5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.
   
   
6. I promise no sex scandal: just look at me.
   
   
7. New penal plan: I won't use mine!
   
   
8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.
   
   
9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers
   
   
10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense.