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12951 - Refrigerate elephants - math jokes
Analysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in t... [read complete]
Analysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in t... [read complete]
12952 - Debate about the box - math jokes
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-i... [read complete]
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-i... [read complete]
12953 - The math one-liners - math jokes
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines... [read complete]
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines... [read complete]
12954 - The birthday study - math jokes
It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show th... [read complete]
It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show th... [read complete]
12955 - The results of statistics - math jokes
1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. All polar bears are left... [read complete]
1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. All polar bears are left... [read complete]
12956 - Risk of plane bombs - math jokes
A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waitin... [read complete]
A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waitin... [read complete]
12957 - Statistical one-liners - math jokes
A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the ... [read complete]
A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the ... [read complete]
12958 - Purchasing the shoes - math jokes
A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what s... [read complete]
A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what s... [read complete]
12959 - Answering machine - math jokes
Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. ... [read complete]
Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. ... [read complete]
12960 - Worries while flying - math jokes
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About a... [read complete]
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About a... [read complete]
12961 - Misunderstood people - math jokes
1. They speak only the Greek language. 2. They usually have long threatening ... [read complete]
1. They speak only the Greek language. 2. They usually have long threatening ... [read complete]
12962 - Reducing travel risk - math jokes
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always acc... [read complete]
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always acc... [read complete]
12963 - The fate of marriages - math jokes
It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US... [read complete]
It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US... [read complete]
12964 - The good and the bad - medical jokes
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an accident ... [read complete]
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an accident ... [read complete]
12965 - Is she feeling better? - medical jokes
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
12966 - What will I do then? - medical jokes
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points? Doctor: Sell!
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points? Doctor: Sell!
12967 - Alzheimer's benefits - medical jokes
5. You never have to watch reruns on television. 4. You are always meeting ne... [read complete]
5. You never have to watch reruns on television. 4. You are always meeting ne... [read complete]
12968 - Prisoner at a hospital - medical jokes
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adeno... [read complete]
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adeno... [read complete]
12969 - What will it cost me? - medical jokes
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $100.00. Patient: $100.... [read complete]
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $100.00. Patient: $100.... [read complete]
12970 - I swallowed a pillow - medical jokes
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.
12971 - Letters from charities - medical jokes
I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.... [read complete]
I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.... [read complete]
12972 - Please do me a favor - medical jokes
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: ... [read complete]
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: ... [read complete]
12973 - I can't find the cause - medical jokes
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find... [read complete]
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find... [read complete]
12974 - Invisible man is here - medical jokes
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
12975 - Bad temper problem - medical jokes
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep los... [read complete]
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep los... [read complete]
12976 - Will I live any longer? - medical jokes
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
12977 - They are ignoring me - medical jokes
A patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!
A patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!
12978 - I want to lose weight - medical jokes
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor. J... [read complete]
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor. J... [read complete]
12979 - A complaining doctor - medical jokes
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per ho... [read complete]
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per ho... [read complete]
12980 - Can I play the piano? - medical jokes
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has h... [read complete]
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has h... [read complete]
12981 - He has one glass eye - medical jokes
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
12982 - Results of the X-ray - medical jokes
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Doctor: Absolutely nothing!
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Doctor: Absolutely nothing!
12983 - Will it hurt me at all? - medical jokes
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
12984 - Very interesting fact - medical jokes
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? ... [read complete]
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? ... [read complete]
12985 - Get a heart transplant - medical jokes
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searchin... [read complete]
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searchin... [read complete]
12986 - Preventive medicine - medical jokes
Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, real... [read complete]
Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, real... [read complete]
12987 - What is your solution? - medical jokes
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, ... [read complete]
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, ... [read complete]
12988 - Bad and very bad news - medical jokes
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as ... [read complete]
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as ... [read complete]
12989 - Take his temperature? - medical jokes
Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?
Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?
12990 - Let's help these people - medical jokes
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doctor: We need... [read complete]
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doctor: We need... [read complete]
12991 - I've got good and bad - medical jokes
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor t... [read complete]
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor t... [read complete]
12992 - Ever have this before? - medical jokes
Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again!
Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again!
12993 - Swallowed can opener - medical jokes
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener! Doctor: ... [read complete]
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener! Doctor: ... [read complete]
12994 - The bad and the worse - medical jokes
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes... [read complete]
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes... [read complete]
12995 - My wife is beating me - medical jokes
David: My wife beats me, doctor. Doctor: Oh dear. How often? David: Every time we play Scrabble!
David: My wife beats me, doctor. Doctor: Oh dear. How often? David: Every time we play Scrabble!
12996 - I'm gaining some weight - medical jokes
Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?
Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?
12997 - They are good friends - medical jokes
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the ... [read complete]
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the ... [read complete]
12998 - Does it hurt right now? - medical jokes
Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, don't do that.
Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, don't do that.
12999 - Help me with my hair - medical jokes
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox.
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox.
13000 - What is the problem? - medical jokes
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the fee... [read complete]
Page 260 of 291Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the fee... [read complete]
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