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i want to lose weight
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John:
How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor:
Of course! Cut your head off.
you're in good health
Doctor:
You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.
Patient:
But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor:
See, what did I tell you.
get me an ambulence
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man:
Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator:
Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
what will it cost me?
Patient:
How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist:
$100.00.
Patient:
$100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist:
Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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