silly collection 09
I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice.
You don't want justice - you want mercy!
What steps would you take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife?
Great big ones!
Who was the world's greatest thief?
Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars!
If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine!
What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
His nose!
Mr Smith: I hate to tell you, but your wife just fell down the wishing well.
Mr Brown: It works!
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What steps would you take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife?
Great big ones!
Who was the world's greatest thief?
Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars!
If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine!
What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
His nose!
Mr Smith: I hate to tell you, but your wife just fell down the wishing well.
Mr Brown: It works!
silly collection 23
What has a bottom at the top?
I don't know?
Your legs!
What is a skeleton?
Bones, with the person off!
What might you eat in Paris?
The trifle tower!
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?
Sir Francis Brake!
Have you ever seen a man eating tiger?
No, but in the cafe next door I once saw a man eating chicken!
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
What do you get if you cross a Scottish legend and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness Pongster!
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I don't know?
Your legs!
What is a skeleton?
Bones, with the person off!
What might you eat in Paris?
The trifle tower!
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?
Sir Francis Brake!
Have you ever seen a man eating tiger?
No, but in the cafe next door I once saw a man eating chicken!
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
What do you get if you cross a Scottish legend and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness Pongster!
silly collection 11
Who is in cowboy films and always broke?
Skint Eastwood!
Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
Al Caprawn!
What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order!
Why did the silly kid stand on his head?
His feet were tired!
What does one star say to another star when they meet?
Glad to meteor!
Were you long in the hospital?
No, I was the same size that I am now!
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!
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Skint Eastwood!
Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
Al Caprawn!
What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order!
Why did the silly kid stand on his head?
His feet were tired!
What does one star say to another star when they meet?
Glad to meteor!
Were you long in the hospital?
No, I was the same size that I am now!
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!
silly collection 14
I want a hair cut please.
Certainly, which one!
Do you look in the mirror after you've washed your face?
No, I look in a towel!
Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
Because her daddy was a mummy!
It's time for your violin lesson.
Oh, Fiddle!
How old is your granddad?
I don't know but we've had him a long time!
What pet makes the loudest noise?
A trum-pet!
What is a tornado?
Mother nature doing the twist!
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Do you look in the mirror after you've washed your face?
No, I look in a towel!
Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
Because her daddy was a mummy!
It's time for your violin lesson.
Oh, Fiddle!
How old is your granddad?
I don't know but we've had him a long time!
What pet makes the loudest noise?
A trum-pet!
What is a tornado?
Mother nature doing the twist!
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