school jokes for kids jokes

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!

A history joke
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!

A math joke
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

A history joke
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!

Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it

A history joke
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!

How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
When they had lots of sleepless knights!

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!

How did you do in your tests?
I did what George Washington did!

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!

Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life!