school jokes for kids jokes

A math joke
I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn't take algebra!

A history joke
Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII?
She was trying to get ahead!

A history joke
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne?
Sat down!

A math joke
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

What are the small rivers that run into the Nile?
The juve-niles!

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?
Fished, but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?
Pupil: The school bus!

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?
The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!

Pupil: What?, and get bitten!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!

A history joke
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

A history joke
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don't know, I wasn't invited!

A history joke
What did they wear at the Boston Tea Party?
T-Shirts!

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!

What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!

Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!

When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine